Slots Jam

[Andy]

Another one from my Dad.


WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE,……. LET ME!


The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Grandma had a mild stroke, couldn't speak very well, but she could
write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to
the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her
up,
and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again
the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again
grabbed her and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold
her
up.


A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi,
Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew...


'They won't let me fart.'

[Andy]

A funny email from my Dad.

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When
asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful
tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been
married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she
had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to
stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a
raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can
you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.'